“So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.””
Genesis 32:24-26
I have a beautiful friend that once told me not to let go until I received my blessing. Jacob alone in the wilderness wrestled with an angel through the night. He refused to let go until he got his blessing. On the surface this appears like a great tale of perseverance; Jacob was committed. However, if you look deeper into the context there is so much more. The reason Jacob was alone in the wilderness was fear.
Jacob had stolen his brother, Esau’s, blessing from their father. He had deceived his family to get what he wanted. Jacob heard while he was traveling that Esau was coming towards him with 400 men. Being filled with fear, Jacob sent a caravan of gifts for Esau ahead then sent his wives, children and servants away as a different group. He was alone in the wilderness because he feared retribution from his brother for his past.
Yet God still met him there. How many times does fear pervasively enter your life? How often do you allow the evil and corroding thread of fear to isolate you from others? Despite what Satan would have you believe isolation does not benefit anyone but him. Alone we are vulnerable and weak. Alone we are susceptible to the clamors of the world that separate us from God.
The beautiful fact is, God meets us there. In the darkness; in the solitude, God seeks us out and stays close by. This presence of God, however, does not instantly equate to peace. As we see with Jacob in this encounter, there is a wrestling match that lasts until daybreak. Jacob cannot and will not let go; he vigorously fights. Perhaps you hold on to past hurts knowing God wants you to let go and heal. Yet you grip tighter and try to hold on. Perhaps you are struggling with a particular sin and think no not this God. I cannot give this up; as God pulls you toward him and away from sin; you fight back. Perhaps you have a calling in life ordained by God, but it is hard. You live everyday in the struggle of trying to please God and exist in this broken world. As God calls you forward – obstacle after obstacle appear that seem to block your path as you cry out, “Why God? Why?” Perhaps you are dealing with a time of loss and do not understand how God can allow bad things to happen to good people.
There are countless illustrations of our wrestling with God. We fight; we pull away; we struggle; we grow weary; we want to tap out. We want the ease of letting go and throwing in the towel. We desire the relief that comes from a simple tap out and return to “normal.” Here is the beauty…the blessing does not come from winning. The blessing is not contingent upon our successful completion of whatever circumstance we find ourselves. The blessing was there the entire time. The blessing was God’s presence as we struggle. God’s definition of victory transcends our world and our comprehension. His victory was seen and felt during the struggle. His victory is that you were never left alone. God is next to you through everything and loves you despite the struggle. God loves you so much he sent Jesus ahead of you. He sent Jesus to ensure your struggles are only in this world while your eternity is safe with him. What a beautiful blessing.
Dear God,
Help me in the struggle. Help me to know your presence and love for me. Allow me to live into the blessing you have already given in your son, Jesus. Amen.
