““You have acted foolishly,” Samuel said. “You have not kept the command the Lord gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time.” 1 Samuel 13:13
Saul is very much the villain in David’s story. A recurring character seeking to unjustly kill a man solely based on his threat to Saul’s power. Do not misread this; Saul was not a great guy. He was definitely flawed and broken.
I have a lot of empathy for Saul. He was God’s chosen and anointed king. He came from the smallest tribe and rose to greatness as God went before him and was the wind behind his back propelling him forward. Yet, Saul time and time again fell short in obeying God. In 1 Samuel 15, Saul again disobeys the Lord. He is instructed to kill all the Amalekites; actually to “completely destroy those wicked people.” Saul did not fully listen to God. He brought back the Amalekite king and allowed his army to plunder the good livestock for themselves. As a result, the Spirit of God departed from Saul and sealed his path of destruction.
This has caused some tension within my spirit. Saul did not murder a man…he did not slaughter animals for no purpose. How could God abandon a man for not contributing to needless death? What does that mean for the character of God? And more importantly what does that mean for me? I relate with Saul; he was a broken and sinful man. He was arrogant and prideful; things that many humans struggle with today. Was that really a sound enough reason to abandon Israel’s first king? My spirit yearned to understand things that are not mine to understand so I could feel better. My feelings were superseding the word of God.
In God’s perfect character, he used this struggle to reveal so much more than what I thought was in the text. My flesh wanted answers; my humanity needed to understand how a loving God could be so cruel. In studying the entire book of 1 Samuel, God revealed that Saul had broken what Jesus would later tell us is the greatest commandment. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” Saul did not love God above himself or his power. Before blatantly disobeying God’s instruction, Saul had built monuments to himself to honor his greatness and accomplishments; not to give God the glory. Saul had made sacrifices in his impatience for Samuel to arrive before battles and fear of losing his power over his armies. He had made a habit of disobedience without the corresponding repentance and turning away from sin.
God revealed something powerful through scripture. The offense to Saul’s story was not correlated to God’s character; it stemmed from fear that I am Saul. In my natural human state I am arrogant, disobedient, impatient, and broken. Saul’s story represents everyday sin that crowds our day to day life; it demonstrates the impatience that comes from waiting and trusting in God’s timing. It illustrates the dangers of taking control from God to get the things we want WHEN we want them. The arrogance that results when good things happen and our response is “Look what I did” versus glorifying God. These things cause us to look to ourselves for sustenance and deny God. We minimize the presence of God and his majesty; we lose sight that we may infact be extraordinary, but we are only so because God has willed it. God bestowed the gifts upon us to use for his Glory. When we use those gifts for our glory it is offensive.
Saul is me. Me when I forget to humble myself before God. Saul is me when I lack repentance; Saul is me when I take control and forget to have faith. While Saul ultimately did villainous things – he began and ended no more than a broken sinner. I do not want my story to turn into Saul’s story. I do not want my end to remain a broken sinner. So Saul is not only a villain; he is the representation of what unrepentance does to our hearts. He is a powerful reminder to bare all before God and humbly seek his favor.
Dear God,
Have mercy upon your servants. Allow us to have hearts that beat for you and lives dedicated to your Glory. Bless us and keep us on the right path that leads to you. Amen.
