“And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother’s son, and all their possessions that they had gathered, and the people that they had acquired in Haran, and they set out to go to the land of Canaan.” Genesis 12:5
Sarai was the birth name given to Abraham’s wife. It is a reminder that she did not start her journey in life as God’s chosen people. She was a pagan in the land of Ur. This means she was born polytheistic and likely placed a significant importance on a moon god. This is a crucial part of her story as her husband, Abram, would become Abraham; the patriarch of all 12 tribes of Israel; the man who God would choose to make a covenant.
In Genesis 12, the Bible tells us God visits Abram and tells him to leave the land he knows. God is going to provide him a new land where his descendants will become more plentiful than grains of sand. Sarai goes with Abram. She did not have an encounter with God at this time; she was left to believe her husband and follow. God called her to a deep faith in the unseen. She would have left her family (likely generations), her beliefs, her home; her entire life. She often does not get enough credit for this journey; again, the Godly encounter was not hers. Yet, she was obedient. She believed her husband and went with him trusting in a God she did not know and had not worshiped. Imagine the depth of that faith in the face of fear and uncertainty. Imagine how her hands must have shaken collecting her items to leave home. Imagine the doubts ringing in her ears as she pressed forward with her husband into the desert. Pretty miraculous by all accounts.
Now fast forward several years. God promised Abram descendants to inherit the promised land, however, Sarai was old and past childbearing years. She believed she could not conceive despite the fact that God had promised Abram he would have children. Sarai fashioned to give Abram children through her servant, here Sarai doubts. Sarai has now experienced miracles through God, yet she lets doubt cloud her judgment leading to disbelief. What an amazing contrast wrapped up in a singular person.
A faith so strong a person would leave everything they knew behind coupled with so much doubt in the power and promises of God that they take matters into their own hands. They try to direct, star in, and produce their own show.
How reminiscent is this of our daily walks with the Lord? Some areas we have unshakeable faith that God can AND will do. Then in seemingly the same breath we cannot fathom God’s power to handle even the smallest things. We exist in a constant spiritual battle; a game of tug of war with our hearts and our minds. Our hearts long for God with every beat knowing their very strings play music pleasing to him; yet our minds grow distorted so we cannot hear that same melody.
The beautiful fact is God already knows. God knows our spirit is willing, but our flesh is weak. God does not demand perfection, but God does want honesty. Acknowledging our struggles and seeking his healing despite the static in our ears. God hears our heartstrings playing even when we become deaf; the important piece is never to let the playing stop despite the doubts we feel.
Dear God,
Help my heart to beat for you no matter my circumstance. Help my spirit become stronger to better serve you, love you, and follow you. Thank you for all the ways you have worked in my life that I can see and all the ways I have yet to see. In Jesus’s name, Amen.